Jesus Christ Statue Now Available In Mexican

The Chapel of the Incarnate Word in San Antonio has unveiled a new guacamole-friendly statue of Jesus Christ for their altar as part of their $5 million renovation project. The “Hispanic-looking,” 10-foot tall, beaner-Jesus statue was created to more accurately represent the parishioners of the San Antonio Chapel and the people served by its ministry. [Ed. Note: Except for the height part, obvs. Has anybody ever seen a Mexican taller than 5 feet? We didn’t think so]. Raul Juarez, renovation supervisor for the project says:
I never thought about what Jesus looked like before this. It’s like I’m looking at myself,” Juarez exclaimed of the 500-pound likeness. “My wife doesn’t even believe it has brown skin. She says, ‘Every time we’ve seen a figure of Jesus, it’s always been white.
We think it’s about g*ddamn time Jesús was represented like one of us. It’s not like there are a lot of gabacho-looking people running around Jerusalem or anything. Next up, the Three Wise Men: Gaspic, Melcholo, and Brownthasar.